The Spirit of Christmas

Exams make me really stupid. During exams, I forget to do things like take my wallet with me to the grocery store.

During the holiday season last year, I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from my niece's holiday concert. I just wanted to pick up a few things: milk, bread, yogurt. Just a few basics. I went to the self check-out line, in a bit of a hurry because there were more exams to study for, and that's when I discovered my lack of wallet.

Needless to say, I was pretty irritated with myself. All the same, I had some cold stuff in my basket that I couldn't let sit out, so I headed back to put everything away.

Yes, I really put the groceries back.

In the frozen foods section, I remembered that there were some cards in a pocket in my purse, but I couldn't remember what was there. Hoping for a VISA, I sat my basket down and started rooting through my purse. Since Kroger's hasn't yet started accepting library cards, I was out of luck. I picked my basket up and went back to returning the groceries to the shelves.

I was aware that there was a woman who saw me rooting through my purse and then start putting food back, but I didn't really pay much attention. After all, it's a public place. There are always people around in a grocery store. When I put the yogurt back, she was there again. She said to me, "excuse me, I don't mean to butt in, but if you're having a hard time I can help you out."

She really took me by surprise. I thanked her and told her that I had just left my wallet at home. She said it wouldn't be a problem. I assured her that I was fine, told her that I'm a student, and explained that I usually carry my wallet in my backpack, but when I took it out today I laid it on the counter and then just forgot about it. Then I thanked her a few million more times. She said if I just wanted a couple of dollars to get the milk, she'd be happy to do that for me. I told her I live just a minute or so away and that I could just come back.

And I thanked her a few hundred times more.

If the woman had been anywhere from her mid 40s up, I wouldn't have been quite as surprised. It's been my experience that women who think they're old enough to be your mother are more likely to help you out in life (they're also more likely to call you "hon"). I always figure they're thinking of their own kids or their kids' friends and how they'd want someone to help them out if they needed it.

Don't get me wrong, I would still have been surprised by anyone offering to buy my groceries, just slightly less so had it been a middle-aged woman. But this woman was younger. She was probably in her 30s. If this woman has children, they're less than half my age.

She wasn't thinking of her kids, she was thinking of me.

She's just a kind person.

I was really touched. But unfortunately, I was also taken so by surprise, that I really didn't say anything beyond thank you. I did manage to tell her how nice it was of her and that I really appreciated it. But I wish I had said more.

I wish I had said that the world needs more people like her.

I wish I had said that I'm not just too proud to take her money, that I wanted her to keep her money so that she would have it to give to someone who really does need it.

I wish I had thought to tell her that she made my day, my whole month, my whole year, really.

I have a friend who lost her mother to breast cancer a couple of months before this happened. The same friend lost her grandmother a few weeks later.

Another friend's mother was in a terrible car accident about a year before finding out that she had colon cancer. [She's now through chemo and is currently cancer free.]

Scott Peterson got the death penalty for killing his wife and unborn son. We're still at war in Iraq. Sadaam is still on trial. Children go missing every day and are either never found or are found too late. Husbands beat their wives. Parents beat their children.

It's easy to believe the world is a dark and evil place. It's easy to be very hard and uncaring.

But a total stranger wanted to help me buy groceries. Add to that Abby's big hug and Hannah's big smile and now Mia's happy face and maybe it'll all be all right after all.

I originally typed this story out as soon as I returned from the grocery store. I typed it and emailed it to everyone I could think of. And now I'm posting a slightly revised version of it here in the hopes that maybe one or two more people will read it. I want as many people as possible to read this because I believe in the butterfly effect.

It doesn't matter that I turned her down. It matters that she offered. It matters that in a world that usually feels as though it really doesn't give a damn about you, a stranger truly did care. It matters that her offer touched me, made me smile, lifted me in a way I'd not experienced before.

What matters is that I'll never forget that woman in the grocery store that night.

What matters is that I hope that I prove to be as kind and caring as a woman whose name I do not know, whose face I do not remember, but whose generousity I will never forget.

Share a smile (or offer to lend a hand or to buy a gallon of milk for a stranger) and you can save the world.

Quote of the Day

we will fight not out of spite
for someone must stand up for what's right

'cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing

...from Hands, by Jewel