Categories...

Humans categorize. Everything. We like to be able to describe, to organize, to put everything neatly into a category.

And that’s okay. This world is a really big place and it’s full of a whole lot of different things. Categorizing all of that makes the world a little easier to navigate. It makes it easier to deal with the amount of input, of data, that our brains must take in from the time we open our eyes in the morning until we close them at night. Taking everything in in one big chunk is impossible, just as impossible as taking every single thing in separately. Categories let us chunk the world up in a way that’ll actually let us function.

Sometimes people forget that categories are just about organizing the data of the world into smaller, sizable pieces. That’s when the problems start. Because that’s when people start applying meaning to the categories. That’s when people become so rigid in their sorting that nothing and no one is ever allowed to change categories. That’s when people start ranking the different categories. That’s when people start applying morality to the categories. That’s when people start hating the people who have been sorted into certain categories. That’s when the lynchings start. When the hate crimes start. When the beatings start. When the bullying starts. When the suicides start.

It’s beyond me how people can hate so much. How they hate not just strangers, but their own flesh and blood. And all because of a label that, at the end of the day, just does not matter. What matters is what’s in a person’s heart, what’s in their head.

Because really, what difference does it make to you who your neighbor is having sex with, as long as he or she is a consenting adult? What difference could it possibly make to you if the man you parked next to at the grocery store is married to a woman or a man? How does it impact your world in any way whatsoever if the kid who delivers your newspaper goes by Jill and wears dresses… and has a penis?

If the only answer you can come up with is “it’s just wrong,” then can you really say that compounding that with hate and with pain is really worth it? It’s really quite exhausting to hate all the time. Is that really how you want to spend your energy?

If the only answer you can come up with is “it’s against God” or “the Bible says,” then you failed to read the whole book and you failed to take in the whole message. Because I’m quite certain that such judgement is not up to you. And I’m quite certain that you are supposed to be loving your neighbor as one of God’s creatures, not hating him because he’s not like you. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be trying to be the best you possible. And I’m pretty sure that superficial hate, ignorance, judgement, and false feelings of superiority are not the road to a better you.

To any of my friends who don’t fit in the category into which our society has placed them, I hope I have never made you feel that way. I hope you know that whether or not you feel free, comfortable, safe to tell me, it’s okay. I already support you. You are my friend. You, the person, not the category you’ve been placed in. I don’t care if you’re straight or gay or crooked or all of the above. I don’t care if you’re male or female or neither or both. I don’t care if you’re tall or short, thin or fat, blond or brunette. I don’t care if you’re rich or poor, educated or a drop out. I don’t care if you’re a dog person or a cat person.

I care if you’re kind and loving. If you’re true to yourself. If you’re honest in your life. I care if you’re okay. I care if you’re happy. I care if life is treating you well. I care if you are treating you well.

You see, the category into which I’ve placed you is one that isn’t affected by any of those meaningless labels, that isn’t changed by any of that. As your friend, my wish for you is that you can be the happiest you possible. Whatever that means.

The category you’re in for me is that of friend.